Thanks for the support and sweet comments ladies!
I am now officially cycle day 1. Soon after I posted the last post I started packing to get ready to make the 8 hour drive back home from visiting the parents. Annnnd..... the cramps started. Full force. I just knew. So that made for an extra fun drive home. I am now on the couch with my heating bag.
I will make an appointment for Tuesday, but everytime I go in for my after-the-two-week-wait- appointment, my follies are always extra large and I have to wait at least a week before I can start another cycle. So.... this would mean I would have to sit December out. The Mr will be going out of town 4 days before me for Christmas, which means a week and a half that we will be out of town. That sucks.
Anyway, I know the good Lord has a plan. I am still throwing this to Him, I definitely can't handle it on my own!
Good luck to you ladies still in your wait out there!!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
This is weird
First of all, we had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving! I absolutely LOVE being around my family!
Second... I am about 11 DPO today. Normally I start my period around 11-12 DPO (I know it seems early, but that's when it happens). I have mentioned that I have felt no symptoms this cycle. Well about 4 days ago my boobs started getting sore. They have stayed this way. I, of course, started hoping that this was it.
Normally when I start my period I get cramps from hell! I am talking close to tears, bent over, heating pad all day, popping Advil type of cramps. So, yesterday I went to the bathroom and saw a light brown. Dangit, I just knew I was going to start. My mom and I went to the mall, and when I got home there was a little more of the brown, but after that, nothing. I have had no cramps either. Isn't this weird?!
I want SOOOOO bad for this cycle to work, but after that episode yesterday my hope has been crushed. Could it still even be possible? I wanted to test today, just to see, but I chickened out. I have to go to the dr. on Tuesday anyway.
Last night I just cried and cried into the Mr's arms. I am so sad that I think this cycle didn't work - I am probably going to have to take a break since the holidays would be in the middle of the next cycle (we will be out of town). And I am so sad to be leaving my family. We really need to move closer!
Second... I am about 11 DPO today. Normally I start my period around 11-12 DPO (I know it seems early, but that's when it happens). I have mentioned that I have felt no symptoms this cycle. Well about 4 days ago my boobs started getting sore. They have stayed this way. I, of course, started hoping that this was it.
Normally when I start my period I get cramps from hell! I am talking close to tears, bent over, heating pad all day, popping Advil type of cramps. So, yesterday I went to the bathroom and saw a light brown. Dangit, I just knew I was going to start. My mom and I went to the mall, and when I got home there was a little more of the brown, but after that, nothing. I have had no cramps either. Isn't this weird?!
I want SOOOOO bad for this cycle to work, but after that episode yesterday my hope has been crushed. Could it still even be possible? I wanted to test today, just to see, but I chickened out. I have to go to the dr. on Tuesday anyway.
Last night I just cried and cried into the Mr's arms. I am so sad that I think this cycle didn't work - I am probably going to have to take a break since the holidays would be in the middle of the next cycle (we will be out of town). And I am so sad to be leaving my family. We really need to move closer!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thanksgiving
Thanks for the comments on the last post! I am in a MUCH better mood today :) - I know my coworkers are thankful for that!
I also know that it is early, and I shouldn't dwell on the lack of symptoms. It is true... I have no idea what is from the medicine and what could be symptoms of a BFP. (Thanks Nicole!) I am feeling heavy in my abdomen. But that's about it. No worries! I am about to go see my family, so that will be a good distraction!
So, I have really been focused on this scripture lately:
I have mentioned before that I do feel a peace about me with this situation. But I still struggle with the fine line of obsessing and just being conscious of the meds, and what my body is doing/going through. I also have trouble with praying. Do I pray for a child? Do I just pray for God's will? Do I pray and beg for a healthy baby? Do I just pray that I will be content?
I am trying so hard to pray that it is God's will for me to have a healthy baby. And if it is not His will, that I will have peace about it. I like the scripture, because it reminds me not to be anxious. (which we all know is way to easy to do!) And the scripture says "by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving" pray to God. Thanksgiving is coming up, and what better day to remind us of how much we have to be thankful for!! God has not forgot about us! I know I need to be reminded to be thankful for what I DO have, and after that pray for the child I desperately desire.
I will try to get on and blog while I am home. Hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I also know that it is early, and I shouldn't dwell on the lack of symptoms. It is true... I have no idea what is from the medicine and what could be symptoms of a BFP. (Thanks Nicole!) I am feeling heavy in my abdomen. But that's about it. No worries! I am about to go see my family, so that will be a good distraction!
So, I have really been focused on this scripture lately:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
I have mentioned before that I do feel a peace about me with this situation. But I still struggle with the fine line of obsessing and just being conscious of the meds, and what my body is doing/going through. I also have trouble with praying. Do I pray for a child? Do I just pray for God's will? Do I pray and beg for a healthy baby? Do I just pray that I will be content?
I am trying so hard to pray that it is God's will for me to have a healthy baby. And if it is not His will, that I will have peace about it. I like the scripture, because it reminds me not to be anxious. (which we all know is way to easy to do!) And the scripture says "by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving" pray to God. Thanksgiving is coming up, and what better day to remind us of how much we have to be thankful for!! God has not forgot about us! I know I need to be reminded to be thankful for what I DO have, and after that pray for the child I desperately desire.
I will try to get on and blog while I am home. Hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 23, 2009
One of those days...
First off, I am not a big drinker. I mean I had my wild fun days in college, but I have changed. A glass of wine every now and then, but nothing more. Let me just say that first :)
Today would be one of those days that I could really use a drink when I got off work! If I wasn't in the two week wait, I would at least get a glass of wine! I mean seriously, I am about to pull my hair out here at work!
I shouldn't be blogging right now (shh don't tell) but I needed to escape, just for a minute! Does anyone else have those days?! And, of course, I would feel like this when I can't have a drink! ha!
Speaking of... like I said in the previous post, I am really not trying to analyze everything BUT (I can't help it!) I am really feeling nothing! I am guessing this didn't work this time. I know it is still early though.
Hope everyone else is having a good day!
Today would be one of those days that I could really use a drink when I got off work! If I wasn't in the two week wait, I would at least get a glass of wine! I mean seriously, I am about to pull my hair out here at work!
I shouldn't be blogging right now (shh don't tell) but I needed to escape, just for a minute! Does anyone else have those days?! And, of course, I would feel like this when I can't have a drink! ha!
Speaking of... like I said in the previous post, I am really not trying to analyze everything BUT (I can't help it!) I am really feeling nothing! I am guessing this didn't work this time. I know it is still early though.
Hope everyone else is having a good day!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
November ICLW!
Okay, I am a little late getting started with ICLW! I feel like I have been so busy lately!
You can see my journey off to the right of my blog. Currently I am in the dreaded two week wait! I did my trigger last Monday, so I am actually about half way finished with the wait! I am really trying to relax and let God do His will. It is oddly reassuring to know that there is nothing that I can do (or not do) that will change God's plan.
So far I have had NO symptoms. I had some cramps on Wednesday- I am assuming that was ovulation. I had a few twinges today, but nothing big. I am trying not to analyze everything! I have been really busy, so it makes the time past faster!
I am going to see my family in N.C. on Tuesday and staying through Sunday. If this cycle didn't work, I expect AF to be here before I leave N.C. I pray that it is God's will for this to be it!! We shall see!!
You can see my journey off to the right of my blog. Currently I am in the dreaded two week wait! I did my trigger last Monday, so I am actually about half way finished with the wait! I am really trying to relax and let God do His will. It is oddly reassuring to know that there is nothing that I can do (or not do) that will change God's plan.
So far I have had NO symptoms. I had some cramps on Wednesday- I am assuming that was ovulation. I had a few twinges today, but nothing big. I am trying not to analyze everything! I have been really busy, so it makes the time past faster!
I am going to see my family in N.C. on Tuesday and staying through Sunday. If this cycle didn't work, I expect AF to be here before I leave N.C. I pray that it is God's will for this to be it!! We shall see!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Pretty sure
I am pretty sure I am:
a) ovulating today
or
b) just having pains in my abdomen because I did a hardcore ab workout on Sunday, and now I am sore from it.
I am pretty sure it's a. (Honestly, I really have no clue how to tell besides cramps.) I started cramping some last night, and today off and on I've been having cramps. At least something is going on in there! I did have a good workout though - and I am sore! That's why it is hard to tell what is going on :)
I am really making a point this cycle to "Let go, and let God". I am praying so hard that it is God's will for us to conceive this time around! At the same time, if it is not His will, I pray that I will have peace with that. My mind keeps wandering to the "what ifs". And the "have I done everything I cans". It is so hard not to get in that mindset! I found myself thinking - okay we did the deed when we were supposed to... but did I lay on my back for long enough afterwards? (even though I hear mixed comments on if that even matters!) And I caught myself... If this is meant to be, God WILL make this happen. "...with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26) If it isn't, then it doesn't matter what I do!
a) ovulating today
or
b) just having pains in my abdomen because I did a hardcore ab workout on Sunday, and now I am sore from it.
I am pretty sure it's a. (Honestly, I really have no clue how to tell besides cramps.) I started cramping some last night, and today off and on I've been having cramps. At least something is going on in there! I did have a good workout though - and I am sore! That's why it is hard to tell what is going on :)
I am really making a point this cycle to "Let go, and let God". I am praying so hard that it is God's will for us to conceive this time around! At the same time, if it is not His will, I pray that I will have peace with that. My mind keeps wandering to the "what ifs". And the "have I done everything I cans". It is so hard not to get in that mindset! I found myself thinking - okay we did the deed when we were supposed to... but did I lay on my back for long enough afterwards? (even though I hear mixed comments on if that even matters!) And I caught myself... If this is meant to be, God WILL make this happen. "...with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26) If it isn't, then it doesn't matter what I do!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Trigger!
I am triggering tonight! Yay!
I had my doctors appointment this morning. I haven't really been feeling "full" so I didn't think that I would be ready to trigger. On the ultrasound the nurse said I had 5 or 6 follicles around 13/14 mm, and then I had one at 18 mm.
When they called this afternoon (after reviewing bloodwork and talking with the doctor) the nurse told me that my estradiol level was 388, which she said was encouraging. If it were much higher they would be a little worried. That would mean that all of the follicles that were growing would probably mature. Since it was 388 that ment that not all of them were mature. Since I have one at 18, the doctor wants me to go ahead and trigger tonight. If I were to do more of the Menopur, it might cause the other 5 or 6 to mature and therefore cause much worry of having multiples.
Does that make sense to anyone other than me?! :)
The nurse said that the doctor feels okay for me to trigger tonight, but since there is a chance of multiples that it was up to me/us. Obviously I am okay with that!
(sidenote: I feel that all of us doing all the fertility treatments are pretty much aware of multiples)
So... tonight's the night! Yay! Then the dreaded 2ww. But at least Thanksgiving is next week... sooo I will be enjoying time at home with my family! That will for sure take my mind of the wait :)
I had my doctors appointment this morning. I haven't really been feeling "full" so I didn't think that I would be ready to trigger. On the ultrasound the nurse said I had 5 or 6 follicles around 13/14 mm, and then I had one at 18 mm.
When they called this afternoon (after reviewing bloodwork and talking with the doctor) the nurse told me that my estradiol level was 388, which she said was encouraging. If it were much higher they would be a little worried. That would mean that all of the follicles that were growing would probably mature. Since it was 388 that ment that not all of them were mature. Since I have one at 18, the doctor wants me to go ahead and trigger tonight. If I were to do more of the Menopur, it might cause the other 5 or 6 to mature and therefore cause much worry of having multiples.
Does that make sense to anyone other than me?! :)
The nurse said that the doctor feels okay for me to trigger tonight, but since there is a chance of multiples that it was up to me/us. Obviously I am okay with that!
(sidenote: I feel that all of us doing all the fertility treatments are pretty much aware of multiples)
So... tonight's the night! Yay! Then the dreaded 2ww. But at least Thanksgiving is next week... sooo I will be enjoying time at home with my family! That will for sure take my mind of the wait :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)