Sunday...

Well Sunday was Mother's Day. A day that I have dreaded in the past. This past Sunday, I found myself dreading it again. Is that bad? selfish? weird?

I squirmed when I woke up and my sweet husband said "Happy Mother's Day!!" My mother-in-law was here this past weekend, and she hugged me and said it to me again. I told them I feel like I shouldn't be told that. She said, You of all people should be! You've worked so hard to get here!

She's right, but I think it was just a reminder of the struggle, and the hurt that I had felt just a year ago on that same day.

My wonderful husband bought me earrings. This is HUGE! The Mr. has only given me jewelry one other time in our relationship (besides my wedding ring), and it was a necklace, so I was floored. And it was the September birthstone. For our sweet baby's due date. I couldn't help it - I cried.

Really what I was dreading was church. They made all the mothers stand so we could get a rose. I just broke down. I am about to right now remembering. I am just soo humbled at God's works. I am soo unspeakably thankful that God has blessed us with a sweet baby. I pray all the time for those that are still struggling to conceive. I KNOW what a hard day yesterday is, especially for those people. Our pastor even pointed it out. It made me cry harder.

I don't know why God picked us to carry this sweet baby. I was brought to my knees yesterday, just so broken before Him. I love this child more than I would have even thought possible and he isn't even born yet! Yesterday just reminded me how much I have to be thankful for. I keep praying - God please don't let me take any of this for granted!

A year ago, on Mother's Day, our pastor said a prayer. In that prayer he said something along the lines of - those that are wanting a baby, that are struggling to concieve, by next Mother's Day may your prayer be answered.

and guess what?
it was.