Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Not even close...

This sweet boy of mine has no intention of coming soon!

I went in for my 36 week appointment today (a few days early) and she checked me - nope, nada, no progression. But she did say, "I tried to poke my finger through there and could barely get through". Um... ouch! Yeah it hurt, pretty darn bad.

I am not sad that I wasn't dialated, but I was kinda hoping that I was starting to. I really feel like he is going to come early rather than late. But what do I know? I go back in a week, so we shall see if anything has changed.

I do know one thing - I am TIRED! It is so hard to get comfortable!
Oh but it's so worth it :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Wow, 35 weeks pregnant and 35 days to go! Now that I am heading towards the end, it feels like it is flying by! I am still feeling good though! I am just really uncomfortable sleeping, but I'll take it!

The nursery is coming together! I got my lanterns in the mail yesterday. I don't know if I mentioned it, but over the crib I am going to hang paper lanterns instead of a mobile. I am SO excited to get them up! I also got a personalized alphabet print with his name on it. And it is adorable!

I am trying to figure out what to put on the wall above the crib.... I was thinking about one of those wall decal things. But I'm not sure...

On Sunday our church is throwing me a baby shower! I am really excited about it. It will be a joint one with another girl from class (she is having a girl, due the week after me), so that will make it fun!

I can't believe this is really happening! The Mr. just got our car seat installed! Wow!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


is my birthday! I'm 28. It's funny how when you are younger you count down until your birthday. Even at 21 and 22... guess it's because we always did a big party, or went downtown to the bars... But as I have gotten older it sneaks up on me :)

The Mr. made me feel really special this morning. Before work he had all my gifts on our dining room table to open before we both left for the day. I had to take my wedding rings off a couple days ago (I was getting scared that my hands were swelling!) So he got me a band, it was really sweet. Granted it was from Walmart! haha That's what I told him I wanted though! Love him! He also got me a Marines shirt.... my brother graduates bootcamp next Friday! Woot!

I feel so incredibly blessed and look forward to what this next year has to offer!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The other side.

Well after my last post... I broke down. But I'm better now :) I guess everyone just needs a good cry.

Yesterday I had lunch with my girlfriend that lost her baby a few weeks ago (she was around 7 weeks). It is really awkward for me to be on this side of things. I really feel like I am a sensitive person to infertility and miscarriages, since I've been through them both, but at the same time I feel almost fake because I am pregnant now.

We had a really good conversation. She opened up about how she is still having a hard time (understandable!) She is a strong Christain, and it is always good to hear her talking about things because she has such a way with words. It hurt to see her so sad.

I still feel like I am infertile. I still get hurt feelings when I see people posting on fb alll about their pregnancy. I get so excited when I read that an infertile is pregnant. I think those feelings will always be with me. Talking with my friend yesterday, she mentioned how she hasn't told everyone about it. I had been going through infertility treatments for about a year when I had my miscarriage and about a month after that I opened up and let the world know. I was just so tired of keeping it all in. I felt that I needed more prayers, and that I needed people to at least try to understand.

I hoped that no one would treat me any differently (which they did - like questioning whether to invite me to their kids bdays...) but I also hoped that if anyone else out there was going through it they didn't feel alone. Yesterday my friend told me that it had helped her. That she thought of us a lot. And that by itself made me glad I "outed" myself.

I think I am still in shock each day of this pregnancy that God has blessed us. In the back of my mind I also worry (I've made it this far.....). I am so very thankful. And I (and probably always will) pray for those that are still struggling, and that have had miscarriages.

Thursday, August 5, 2010


I am not really an "emotional" person. I mean, yes I cry at sad/sappy movies, but overall I think of myself as being pretty tough. I am not snugly or do I feel that I am needy, and I definitely don't cry in front of people often.


I have my days... and today is one of them. I woke up this morning and was fine. Happy, played with the dog, goofed off with the Mr. just had a nice morning. Then it hit me... I am not going to see my mom until I have this baby! She isn't here to help with the nursery, or help me pick out cute hospital pajamas, or arrange everything, or oooh and ahhh over how cute these tiny clothes are.... it really made me sad.

My parents live 8 hours away... Long story short, the Mr. and I upped and moved down here to Alabama, just because. That's right folks, no job, no family, no friends, just the two of us. We definitely made the right choice. Our faith has grown unbelievably and we have great jobs and wonderful friends now. But we still don't have our families. After we started trying for a baby we decided that we needed to move back. We have 12 nieces and nephews, grandparents, parents, and siblings that we just want (and NEED) to be closer to. When we found out we were expecting we decided to put off moving until after we had the baby.

I PRAY that God opens doors for us fast. I know it is insane to think of moving with a newborn, but I don't care. I can do it!

My mom had plans to come here in a few weeks... but my brother is graduating from bootcamp that weekend, which she is going to instead (understandably!). And I WANT TO GO! But I'll be 36 weeks, and it is about 9 hours away.

I'm just sad. and homesick.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


So.... the Mr. and I went to dinner last night and got into a .... let's call it a heated discussion :)

When we first started trying for a baby, we agreed that once I had the baby I wouldn't work. We are still both in agreement about it. The "discussion" was about if I would go back to work and then give my two week notice, or if I would just call on my maternity leave and say I'm not returning. See... I will get Short Term Disability - so if I went back to work for a week or two it would pretty much guarentee that I wouldn't have to pay this back. I have NO clue if I would have to pay it back if I don't go back...

Anyone know???

It isn't like I can ask my boss this question! I have been with the company for over 4 years, but legally I have no clue how to find this out without asking someone. So, if anyone knows the answer or can give a suggestion I would appreciate it!!