I am still trying to snap out of my funk, but at least everything isn't making me cry now! It is so hard not to be mad at those fertile people.
I have been on my knees numerous times this week. I have been pouring out to God. I have mentioned it here before but I always go back to the verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6) Yesterday I came across this verse (I bolded what spoke to me): "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission." (Hebrews 5:7) Even Jesus went through trials. Even Jesus was on his knees crying and pleading with God.
Sunday night was probably the worst I've been. I am not a crier, and I was balling. I felt helpless and drained. My husband was so great. He bought me some wine on his way home and just let me be. Like some of you have said... we get in these slumps and slowly make our way back to the world. I am almost there.
I had my appointment this morning. I was hoping that God would give me a miracle and my body would suddenly start ovulating on it's own. Nope. Not this time. Like always, I have many "pearls" of cysts in my ovaries. But at least it looked normal (well, normal for me anyway!) The doctor came in and said that it looked like we could get started...
BUT the Mr. is going out of town tomorrow and I will be leaving on Friday. The doctor asked when we'd be back... I said the 27th. He said, well maybe not start tonight, but maybe start later. That was something I hadn't thought of! If I take all my meds with me, I could start while I am on Christmas vacation - then go in to the doctor when I got back and hopefully could trigger! I am waiting for them to call me back and let me know what the plan is! It will be hard (we are staying with the Mr's sister) but it can be done!
I am hopeful!
I just pray pray pray that an IUI does it for us! If nothing else, IF does show you how strong you can be...