I am still trying to snap out of my funk, but at least everything isn't making me cry now! It is so hard not to be mad at those fertile people.
I have been on my knees numerous times this week. I have been pouring out to God. I have mentioned it here before but I always go back to the verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6) Yesterday I came across this verse (I bolded what spoke to me): "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission." (Hebrews 5:7) Even Jesus went through trials. Even Jesus was on his knees crying and pleading with God.
Sunday night was probably the worst I've been. I am not a crier, and I was balling. I felt helpless and drained. My husband was so great. He bought me some wine on his way home and just let me be. Like some of you have said... we get in these slumps and slowly make our way back to the world. I am almost there.
I had my appointment this morning. I was hoping that God would give me a miracle and my body would suddenly start ovulating on it's own. Nope. Not this time. Like always, I have many "pearls" of cysts in my ovaries. But at least it looked normal (well, normal for me anyway!) The doctor came in and said that it looked like we could get started...
BUT the Mr. is going out of town tomorrow and I will be leaving on Friday. The doctor asked when we'd be back... I said the 27th. He said, well maybe not start tonight, but maybe start later. That was something I hadn't thought of! If I take all my meds with me, I could start while I am on Christmas vacation - then go in to the doctor when I got back and hopefully could trigger! I am waiting for them to call me back and let me know what the plan is! It will be hard (we are staying with the Mr's sister) but it can be done!
I am hopeful!
I just pray pray pray that an IUI does it for us! If nothing else, IF does show you how strong you can be...
I've been in a funk lately too, I feel your pain. I've had 8 pregnancy announcements in the past 4 months not to mention the ones on my blog dashboard, 2 of them coming last night. Hate the way IF makes you react to such news. I'll be praying for you. Enjoy your Christmas trip!
ReplyDeleteYour last sentence could not have been more true!! I loved that you closed this post with that :)
ReplyDeleteI hope IUI does it for you too and can whip you out of this funk with a BFP!!
I am right there with you in that funk. But like you I am slowly coming out of it. I thope we both feel better soon and this cycle works out.
ReplyDeletePlease, remember Shule and me in prayer for a relationship miracle for us both, that we be reconciled for the glory of God, THAT GOD WILL BRING OUR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER AS A MARRIED COUPLE, THAT HE WILL BLESS OUR REUNITING AND THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO RAISE OUR FAMILY IN GODLY FEAR.
ReplyDeleteMay God draw us both closer to Himself, and that we can have a loving relationship with God and each other. May His perfect will be done for us.
SOMETIME IT TAKES THE SEPARATING TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE MEANT FOR ONE ANOTHER, SO please PRAY THAT GOD WILL QUICKEN SHULE'S SPIRIT AND OPEN HIS HEART FOR HIS LOVE FOR YOU. FATHER GOD SO THAT THIS WILL BE WHAT YOU HAVE COMMANDED, PRAY THAT YOU WILL UNITE US IN LOVE, PRAY THAT THERE IS NO OTHER INVOLVEMENT. THAT US, TWO INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE LOST THEIR WAY FROM ONE ANOTHER, AND THAT YOU HAVE ORDAINED US TO BE ONE
Please pray for a restoration of the relationship and that it become the relationship that God wants it to be. May He open up the lines of communication so that He is honored by the peace and love between Shule and me. May I be open to hear how God wants me to act and speak to Shule. May the relationship be a blessing to us both. May He be between Shule and me, filtering every word, every action, every thought.
Please, agree in prayer that our relationship is restored in a Godly way. That we be able to each speak Truth to one another in love. That God will greatly direct and guide us and that most of all we will know His great love for us. May the Lord bless us with children and with a peaceful home.
Also, please, hold Shule before You and ask that You draw near to him so that he becomes aware of Your Presence too. Let this time apart be a time of healing and renewal. Cause him to desire a reconciliation and make contact with me.
Lord, please restore the relationship between Shule and me, making stronger than it ever was before. Let our relationship grow, with You as it's solid foundation. Strengthen the communication between us and hold us in Your Love and care, leading them towards marriage and a lifelong commitment. Bless us with many healthy children, who will grow up knowing You.
Please, ask the Lord to move in miraculous power in this situation.
Be blessed and stay connected.
In Jesus' Name
Kaca