Thursday, August 20, 2009

Got the meds

My lovely injections came in the mail yesterday. I already had a box, but the nurse said she would go ahead and order 3 more boxes of Menopur "just in case" and I needed another Orvidrel shot. Hopefully I won't need all of the Menopur. I have been a lot more reserved about telling people what's going on this time around. It isn't even that I'm not trying to - I just am not wanting to. It is no longer "fun" and "exciting". Before it was so exciting to be starting something new that would hopefully work. Now I feel like it is just what has to be done. Don't get me wrong - I am still excited to be getting the ball rolling again. But it just doesn't feel worthy of making a big huge deal.

I feel much more guarded. I have a feeling that I will feel like this until I am in the hospital holding our beautiful, healthy baby. God is so great, and He has definitely provided me with strength and peace about the situation. I start the injections on Saturday night. The only problem? We are going over to a friends house for dinner. And The Mr. has decided that he doesn't want to know everything (unless I need to talk to someone). It really is a lot of pressure to do the injections, do the trigger shot, then say okay tonights the night - it's now or in a month... So, I figure I'll just have to do it early, before we leave.

I almost wish I could just start tonight, just so I can stop thinking about when I'm going to start!

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