Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Guess who?

Guess who decided to show up this morning???
My period.
I was having horrible cramping, which I know all too well. I told the Mr. when I woke up that AF was on the way - I could feel it. The Mr. left for work before I did this morning, and right after he left I went to the bathroom. Oh, she is definitely here! I got on my knees and prayed. And the tears started flowing. I prayed that God remind me of how much I am blessed with. And that He lift me up and give me the peace I so desperately need. I prayed that His will be done, and that He make His will mine. Lastly I prayed for God comfort me and to please please be with me right now.
Then I looked at my daily prayer book. Today it said that "your suffering is not in vain". God will be glorified! I don't have the book with me right now or I would quote the whole thing! But it really spoke to me!
All along I have prayed that I desire a child, a healthy child. If this is not in God's will for me right now, then give me peace with that. I would rather see a BFN than go through another miscarriage!

I feel like I am rambling....
I am sad, I really thought this time worked.
But I can't help but try to look at the positive (I would still be curled up in a ball in bed if I didn't!) I am so blessed in other ways! And this isn't the end! God didn't tell me no, He just told me that now isn't the right time.

So... again... I wait... wait for AF to make her appearance then disappear again... wait to see what the doctor has me do next.


  1. Thanks for your support this past week. It has ment so much. I am so sorry She is hear! I totally understand wanting AF before another M/C though. I truly hope this is the last time you see AF in a long long time!

  2. I'm sorry this wasn't the month for you, I know how much it hurts.
    Thank you for your uplifting post, though. :)

  3. I'm so sorry. I'm proud of you for your positive attitude. God has great plans for you and your husband and I hope He brings you your miracle baby soon!