It's funny to me how fast I can go from praying all about me, to praying so hard for others.
A couple nights ago I was leaving the gym (go me!! I am doing good ya'll!) and I had a voice mail from my brother. My brother and I get along great! I love him tons! But we just don't talk much on the phone. So that was weird. When I called him back he informed me that he had joined the Marines. I was so shocked! I had no clue that he was even interested in this! He is really excited, evidently he has been thinking about this for a long time now (good thing!) so I told him congrats, and after a million a half questions we got off the phone.
When I got home, I told the Mr. He was shocked too. So now I am full of all this mixed up emotions! I am scared, worried, happy, curious, and most of all... I miss my family! I have been searching on the internet to find out exactly what my bro will be doing. He doesn't go to bootcamp until April (2 weeks after he gets married!!!!!) so I guess I have time before I start stressing and worrying...
But it really got me thinking. That night I prayed so hard for him and for guidance for him and his fiance. I prayed that God would keep him safe! I didn't even remember to pray for our infertility and the fact that I want a baby soo bad! Since then I'm sure I have more than made up for that :) but still - it made me realize that as much as I want/desire this, life is still moving right along. It is bittersweet. Most of the time I feel like things shouldn't be moving forward, no one else should have big news, nothing can happen until I get my BFP. I sometimes feel like I am at a standstill. I plan around What ifs.
I need to just start praying about everything. I will get pregnant. It will happen. I just need to realize that my life is made up of so much more than this one part. I have an awesome family and they are still living their lives! I need to start living mine more. Living it more day-by-day and stop with the "what ifs". It makes my planning way to hard!
"Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything." Phillippians 4:6
I struggle with that too. I always think about planning things in terms of "if I'm pregnant" or "if I'm not". It sucks and is sometimes necessary but it feels like your life revolves around it.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves during IF? I ask God to help me continue to live life to the fullest, even though sometimes it feels empty. L.
ReplyDeleteICLW
How exciting for your brother!! I have tried my hardest lately to always start my prayers with non-baby related requests but to instead focus on everything/everyone else in our lives. It seems to help me focus and speak to God more easily.
ReplyDeleteI love Phil 4:6, another good one is Romans 12:12...Rejoice in confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
~Jess
ICLW
I know how you feel. It's hard to be in the moment and take it one day at a time when you're struggling with IF. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletezanymermaid
ICLW
So true and I love that verse at the end of your post.
ReplyDeleteTell your brother thank you, for being willing and able to serve our country to keep me and my family safe. I greatly appreciate his bravery and dedication.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing the blessings that come from forgetting ourselves and serving and praying for others.
Good luck on your IF journey!
Thank God for your brother, and all the troops fighting for our cause.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW!
That is a brave decision your brother is making. I thank him from the bottome of my heart. And I will pray that the Lord will watch over him.
ReplyDeleteI like the scripture you quoted. I wish you the best of luck with your cycle.