It's funny to me how fast I can go from praying all about me, to praying so hard for others.
A couple nights ago I was leaving the gym (go me!! I am doing good ya'll!) and I had a voice mail from my brother. My brother and I get along great! I love him tons! But we just don't talk much on the phone. So that was weird. When I called him back he informed me that he had joined the Marines. I was so shocked! I had no clue that he was even interested in this! He is really excited, evidently he has been thinking about this for a long time now (good thing!) so I told him congrats, and after a million a half questions we got off the phone.
When I got home, I told the Mr. He was shocked too. So now I am full of all this mixed up emotions! I am scared, worried, happy, curious, and most of all... I miss my family! I have been searching on the internet to find out exactly what my bro will be doing. He doesn't go to bootcamp until April (2 weeks after he gets married!!!!!) so I guess I have time before I start stressing and worrying...
But it really got me thinking. That night I prayed so hard for him and for guidance for him and his fiance. I prayed that God would keep him safe! I didn't even remember to pray for our infertility and the fact that I want a baby soo bad! Since then I'm sure I have more than made up for that :) but still - it made me realize that as much as I want/desire this, life is still moving right along. It is bittersweet. Most of the time I feel like things shouldn't be moving forward, no one else should have big news, nothing can happen until I get my BFP. I sometimes feel like I am at a standstill. I plan around What ifs.
I need to just start praying about everything. I will get pregnant. It will happen. I just need to realize that my life is made up of so much more than this one part. I have an awesome family and they are still living their lives! I need to start living mine more. Living it more day-by-day and stop with the "what ifs". It makes my planning way to hard!
"Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything." Phillippians 4:6