You know that song "I've had a bad day... "??? Well that's me.
Yeah I know it's only 8:30 in the morning. But maybe let's count yesterday AND this morning. Yesterday at work there was miscommunication that caused major stress in my life. Bad. It was rainy and gross. Bad. I got home exhausted but couldn't fall asleep. Bad. The Mr. cuddled with me on the couch and we watched a movie. Very good :). This morning...... I tested..... BAD! It was a BFN.
Right after I did it, I thought, why the heck am I doing this to myself?? But what if it had said positive? I would be over the moon right now! I know it is still early (10 dpo) so technically I still could be pregnant. But now I am trying to convince myself not to get my hopes so far up. It is sooo hard though! I mean, I am having so many of the symptoms! Is is all coming from the medicines I was on? Shouldn't they be out of my system right now??
So now my emotions are all over the place! And I feel fat... I know I've mentioned that I have been bloated, so my pants won't comfortably close all the way (attractive I know) so this morning, after I saw the BFN, I was talking to the Mr. and said, "man I better be pregnant, if not I am just plan ole fat" and he said, "if you aren't you can go to the gym with me". Ya know what I did? Flipped out. Yup. "Oh so you think I'm fat too? So I need to go to the gym?? Maybe YOU should go to the gym!" Oh man, poor Mr. Oh, and then I started crying. And then I started apologizing.
Gosh. Now I am just sad. Why - because what if I'm not pregnant? I have so many questions - why am I having so much cramping and feel so bloated - is something wrong with me??
I'm am telling you the 2 week wait is all the devil's doing!
Thanks for letting me vent here!! Today will be busy at work, so maybe my mind will stay occupied. Only 2 more days and I'll know for SURE and then I can react appropriately :)
Vent away, girl! There is nothing worse than seeing those stupid negative tests. My husband has nicknamed the brand we use "Last Response" and I like to call them "No Response". :-) Hang in there. I really hope that it was just too early to detect right now. I'm praying for you!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard when you get a bfn. I'm sorry. I hope you still get yours. You could be bloating/cramping because of ovulation, fertility drugs, just cause your body wants too, or it could be because you want to be pregnant so badly. *fingers crossed for you*
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