Thursday, October 22, 2009

Life...

It's funny to me how fast I can go from praying all about me, to praying so hard for others.


A couple nights ago I was leaving the gym (go me!! I am doing good ya'll!) and I had a voice mail from my brother. My brother and I get along great! I love him tons! But we just don't talk much on the phone. So that was weird. When I called him back he informed me that he had joined the Marines. I was so shocked! I had no clue that he was even interested in this! He is really excited, evidently he has been thinking about this for a long time now (good thing!) so I told him congrats, and after a million a half questions we got off the phone.


When I got home, I told the Mr. He was shocked too. So now I am full of all this mixed up emotions! I am scared, worried, happy, curious, and most of all... I miss my family! I have been searching on the internet to find out exactly what my bro will be doing. He doesn't go to bootcamp until April (2 weeks after he gets married!!!!!) so I guess I have time before I start stressing and worrying...

But it really got me thinking. That night I prayed so hard for him and for guidance for him and his fiance. I prayed that God would keep him safe! I didn't even remember to pray for our infertility and the fact that I want a baby soo bad! Since then I'm sure I have more than made up for that :) but still - it made me realize that as much as I want/desire this, life is still moving right along. It is bittersweet. Most of the time I feel like things shouldn't be moving forward, no one else should have big news, nothing can happen until I get my BFP. I sometimes feel like I am at a standstill. I plan around What ifs.

I need to just start praying about everything. I will get pregnant. It will happen. I just need to realize that my life is made up of so much more than this one part. I have an awesome family and they are still living their lives! I need to start living mine more. Living it more day-by-day and stop with the "what ifs". It makes my planning way to hard!

"Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything." Phillippians 4:6

8 comments:

  1. I struggle with that too. I always think about planning things in terms of "if I'm pregnant" or "if I'm not". It sucks and is sometimes necessary but it feels like your life revolves around it.

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  2. Isn't it so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves during IF? I ask God to help me continue to live life to the fullest, even though sometimes it feels empty. L.
    ICLW

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  3. How exciting for your brother!! I have tried my hardest lately to always start my prayers with non-baby related requests but to instead focus on everything/everyone else in our lives. It seems to help me focus and speak to God more easily.

    I love Phil 4:6, another good one is Romans 12:12...Rejoice in confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

    ~Jess
    ICLW

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  4. I know how you feel. It's hard to be in the moment and take it one day at a time when you're struggling with IF. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
    zanymermaid
    ICLW

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  5. So true and I love that verse at the end of your post.

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  6. Tell your brother thank you, for being willing and able to serve our country to keep me and my family safe. I greatly appreciate his bravery and dedication.

    It's amazing the blessings that come from forgetting ourselves and serving and praying for others.

    Good luck on your IF journey!

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  7. Thank God for your brother, and all the troops fighting for our cause.

    Happy ICLW!

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  8. That is a brave decision your brother is making. I thank him from the bottome of my heart. And I will pray that the Lord will watch over him.

    I like the scripture you quoted. I wish you the best of luck with your cycle.

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